When my daughter was 6 months old (in 2016), I learned about Aware Parenting, and it completely changed the way that I parent, how I transform my patterns around challenge and stress, how I understand my past hurts and the way that I raise my child. I learned that crying helps babies and children release tension and stress, so if it is not a need (like hunger or nappy change, for example), tears and laughter and connection can be totally freeing for them. Actually, stress-releasing hormones are emitted through tears, and how have you felt after a chance to express your challenges in your day or to have a good cry?
What is Aware Parenting?
Aware Parenting (AwP) is an approach to child-rearing that supports parents and children to build a deeper connection with one another. AwP helps make the parent-child journey more easeful and fun.
This approach gives space for parents and children to check-in with their feelings and needs. It is both conscious and democratic.
It is also a paradigm shift from the generations of the behaviourist approach to parenting. Instead of looking at the child’s behaviour that is challenging, AwP looks at the emotions that are causing the challenging behaviour. AwP techniques help carers and parents to support and connect with their children through their big emotions, such as powerlessness and fear, and to release those emotions from the body through crying/tantrums + connection or laughter/play + connection. It also creates a safe support for parents to connect with their own feelings and how to process unresolved childhood emotions, as well as present ones. This approach is transformational for families and a way to bring about more peace and understanding for our children and their generation. It has been very powerful for myself and my two children.
How do emotions accumulate in the body, how can it cause disrupted sleep or “challenging” behaviour? And how can releasing emotions through HEALTHY EXPRESSION help one to return to a state of pure love?
One can build up emotions in the body during stressful moments. Stress can bring us out of a state of homeostasis/balance and can leave us physically unwell, anxious or make it difficult to sleep peacefully. For children, stress can be caused by something seemingly small, like a big day out at the shops, or something bigger, like a traumatic medical event.
As humans we have a few ways of releasing emotions when we are stressed: 1.- aggression (in adults seen through yelling, in children seen though hitting/biting), 2.- suppression (distractions, sucking, eating, screens) or 3.- healthy expression/communication, which for children plays out though supportive, connective crying/tantrums or laughter/specific attachment play techniques. As adults, we can seek out a healthy way to release those built-up emotions, such as talking to a friend or partner about how feelings or needs, expressing what is confronting us, as well as having a good laugh or cry with a friend.
After emotions are released from the body through healthy communication, we return to a state of homeostasis/balance, pure love, joy, cooperation, calmness, with quality sleep, compassion and gentleness.
What are the benefits for parents who practice AwP?
As parents who raise their children through the AwP philosophy, we can change old, learned patterns from unconscious imprints that have been left in our bodies and spirits. For example, if we grew up fearing our older sibling who was harsh with us, we can work through unresolved emotions and heal childhood wounds through exploration and attention to the inner child. If we were raised by a parent who yelled at us, we can change that engrained habitual pattern and develop a way to not repeat the yelling on our offspring. We can raise a generation that has a strong, healthy communication with their family & friends, a relationship based on understanding and compassion, a relationship embedded in peace and healing through the release of emotions in a healthy way (talking, crying, laughter + connection), which allows the body and soul to return to the natural state of joy and balance.
Would you like me to support you?
-with techniques, such as “eliciting cooperating in children,” supportive crying, play techniques for specific circumstances?
-during trigger moments?
-those questions to support you parent in the way that you have always dreamed of?
-empathy for strong feelings that are coming out in your children and in yourselves?
As we strive toward a non-violent world where our soul’s are following their hearts’ callings, free from suppression and aggression, I support you on this journey.
I offer one-on-one support through in-person or online consultations and mum’s circles and workshops (online or in our yurt temple). Sessions can be one-off or on a regular basis. Aware Parenting Consultations are $60/hour
If you would like to join please send me an email: [email protected] or give me a ring/message 0415 533 311.
So much love to you,
Aware Parenting (AwP) applies tools to help your baby and children release emotions in a healthy way, such as by crying in arms as a baby, tantrums in children or through laughter/play techniques and connection. Rather than repressing (such as distracting or feeding) or allowing aggression to take over when emotions are big, babies and children will feel more relaxed, cooperative, connected to your natural state of love, and have better sleep, once big emotions are released in a loving, empathetic, supportive manner.
Babies and children cry or laugh to release big emotions in a healthy way. As parents we can be there staying connected to them when big feelings come up. Also if they are not sleeping well or have trouble going to sleep, or if they are acting in a way that is not helpful, kind or gentle then they are not trying to misbehave. Rather, they have big feelings and need support to cry or laugh with connection to release those big emotions.
AwP was founded by Aletha Solter. There is a wealth of information on the Aware Parenting Institute website:
Aletha Solter explains that there are three main aspects to AwP:
-attachment style parenting
-healing from stress and trauma
AwP taught me so many important tools for raising my children. One of the most profound incites is that a baby cries if they have a need, like hunger or nappy change, but also to release big emotions. I didn’t know that a baby could cry as a way to communicate their feelings, such as “I’ve had a big day, let me tell you about it”… and then for a baby to have a crying spell with loving adult listening helps them to release tension through tears or tantrums & is physiologically nourishing and healing. If these emotions are held in, the result can be disrupted sleep, not being able to sit in a relaxed way and avoiding eye contact.
Aware Parenting is not only helpful with babies, but also with toddlers and teens to be more relaxed and cooperative; it breaks down some of the challenging toddler behaviour into deciphering what’s going on with these little humans. When children act in challenging ways, like hitting or biting, they’re actually having pent-up emotions and asking for help to release them. They want to be loving and cooperative. This is their true nature and desire. Through crying, laughter, connection or healing play, babies, children (and parents) express emotions and come back to a state of balance.
Understanding, compassion and ease are such an integral part of Aware Parenting. Also, it helps us as parents on our healing journey.
*Aware Parenting Consultations:
Learn tips and techniques based on the Aware Parenting approach (Based on the works of Aletha Solter’s books… I highly recommend you read The Aware Baby). Tailered to the needs of you, your family and your child, I recommend how to apply healthy communication techniques, such as letting your baby cry or child tantrum or laughter, use loving limits rather than punishment & reward. I learned first-hand how to get better sleep for my kids (& myself!), how to heal from my own emotional childhood hurts, along with better communication skills for us all: face-to-face or through Skype.
Aware Parenting Consultations are $60/hour
*Aware Parenting Workshops & Mums Circles: (offered at various points throughout the year)
Give yourself a chance to relax and heal while learning techniques for building healthy communication and release. Firstly, understanding that challenging behaviour is caused by painful feelings and how to help your children release their pent-up emotions in a healthy way. Please see the Aware Parenting section of this website for more info on Aware Parenting or contact me directly.
When my son (second baby) was a baby in 2018:
“Is he always this calm?” People often asked me about baby Eliasz. “Yes!” was my answer. And “YES, we get great sleep!
When we are there to listen to our children’s crying (never leave a child to cry alone), they will feel calmer (& more cooperative) and have better sleep, which is a bonus for us adults, too.
A child’s natural inclination is to be helpful & calm and to be pure love. They “act out in challenging behaviour” when they need help releasing tension. I noticed that when my daughter was acting “difficult” after her brother’s birth (when she was 3 years old), and then I helped her to have a good cry, a tantrum, a laugh or a close connecting time with me, she was transformed into a super relaxed and happy child who wanted to help me and be gentle. To help her release, I sometimes set a loving limit. For example, “I’m not willing for you to be rough with your little brother.” Sometimes a stream of emotions came out through crying. Other times, she was wanting close connection and laughter. So, I followed her lead and played closely together with her or I lead her in a game that allowed her to feel powerful, such as pushing me over on the swing, for example. That always gets out a good laugh when I fall to the ground by her strong legs.
I am now a certified Aware Parenting (AwP) instructor. I’m super passionate about helping other mums find more ease and joy in parenting, and of course I want to help these little people feel understood, as when their the most needing a parents’ love is often when a parent may punish or reward. AwP is helps tp develop a sense of intrinsic helpful behaviour without punishment and reward. I often offer workshops and Mum’s Circles to teach the many facets and techniques of Aware Parenting at our yurt in Modanville .
I would also like to add that since learning about Aware Parenting my life and emotional health has been transformed. I can process my emotions so much better, express them in a healthier way, understanding my needs quicker and improve my relationship with my own mother. Aware Parenting is so simple, yet so complex and will leave you so happy, if it resonates at all with you.
Find more joy, ease, compassion, understanding and healing.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO LEARN HOW TEARS, TANTRUMS, LAUGHTER AND CONNECTION LEAD TO BETTER REST, SLEEP AND COOPERATION FOR YOUR BABIES & CHILDREN & U?
Give yourself a chance to relax and heal while learning techniques for building healthy communication and release for your kids, use loving limits rather than punishment & reward… and more from the Aware Parenting (AwP) perspective (based on Aletha Solter’s The Aware Baby & Marion Rose PhD’s work.)
Hi, I’m Laura, a passionate mother of two gorgeous children, a yoga teacher, massage therapist, Aware Parenting instructor, facilitator and mediator. I learned first-hand how to get better sleep for my children (and myself) and how challenging behaviour is caused by painful feelings… & how creating a space for my kids to cry or laugh or connect allows them to return to their true nature of cooperation and love. It has been a game- changer in this sacred parenting journey! I am a certified AwP instructor.
If you would like to learn more about Aware parenting please visit the Aware Parenting Institute at www.awareparenting.com
If you have any questions or would like to contact me for an upcoming workshop or 1-on-1 consultion, please feel free to do so:
Laura 0415 533 311 [email protected]